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Criminal Mischief: Episode #24: Common Writing Mistakes

 

Criminal Mischief: Episode #24: Common Writing Mistakes

LISTEN:https://soundcloud.com/authorsontheair/common-writing-mistakes-with-dp-lyle-on-criminal-mischief

PAST SHOWS: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief.html

SHOW NOTES: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief-notes/24-common-writing-mistakes.html

Writers, particularly early in their careers, make mistakes. Often the same ones over and over. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid.

OVERWRITING:

Too many words

Too cute by far

Strained Metaphors

Purple prose

DIALOG:

Tag alert

Characters all sound the same

Inane conversations

“As you know” chatting

SHOW VS TELL:

DESCRIPTION:

Not too much

Not too little

Just enough—the telling details

SCENES:

In and Out quickly—in medias res

Leave question/tension at end

POV:

Stay in one at a time

Except Omniscient—hard to do

PACING:

Fast but not too fast

Vary pace

BACKSTORY:

How much?

When?

ENTERTAIN:

The one cardinal rule

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Posted by on July 30, 2019 in Writing

 

Criminal Mischief: Episode #23: Apollo 11 & Me

 

LISTEN: https://soundcloud.com/authorsontheair/apollo-11-me

PAST SHOWS: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief.html

SHOW NOTES:

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 50 years. Exactly 50 years.

This show has nothing to do with crime writing or the science of crime. It is rather a step back in world history. And in my personal history. Yes, I was there. Inside the gates of the Cape Canaveral Space Center. July 16, 1969, 9:32 a.m. I remember it like it was yesterday. Please indulge me and join me for this trip down memory lane.

The above picture is more or less the view I had of the launch. The sky was clear, the tension thick, and not a dry eye to be found.

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2019 in Space Program, Writing

 

Talking About Forensic Science on the For Dummies Podcast Series

 

Had I a great time chatting with Eric Martsolf on the For Dummies podcast series about FORENSICS FOR DUMMIES and Forensic Science. Drop by and take a listen:

http://fordummiesthepodcast.twa.libsynpro.com/for-dummies-the-podcast-forensics

More Info and to order FORENSICS FRO DUMMIES:
http://www.dplylemd.com/book-details/forensics-for-dummies.html

 

 

 

 

Katherine Ramsland and Linda Fairstein in Suspense Magazine and on Crime and Science Radio

 

This month’s edition of Suspense Magazine features two of my favorite folks: Katherine Ramsland and Linda Fairstein.

First there is the transcript of Katherine’s visit to Crime and Science Radio where Jan Burke and me discussed her book on the BTK Killer. Check it out.

Learn more about Katherine and listen to the show:

http://www.dplylemd.com/csr-past-details/katherine-ramsland.html

Then a wonderful interview with Linda Fairstein, who was also our guest on Crime and Science Radio. 

Learn more about Linda and listen to the show:

http://www.dplylemd.com/csr-past-details/linda-fairstein.html

Check out all 70 Crime and Science Radio shows:

http://www.dplylemd.com/crime–science-radio.html

If you don’t yet subscribe to Suspense Magazine you should.

http://suspensemagazine.com

 

SUNSHINE STATE is a Kindle Monthly Deal for July

SUNSHINE STATE is a Kindle Monthly Deal for July. Only $0.99

Join Jake, Nicole, Ray, and Pancake in the insanity that is Florida.

 

PURCHASE: https://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-State-Jake-Longly-Book-ebook/dp/B07P9KM8VY/ref=sr_1_2

DETAILS: http://www.dplylemd.com/book-details/sunshine-state.html

 

From Publishers Weekly:

In Lyle’s ingenious third mystery featuring retired major league pitcher Jake Longly (after 2017’s A-List), Jake, who runs a restaurant in Gulf Shores, Ala., is again roped into working for his father Ray’s PI firm. An attorney has contacted Ray on behalf of Billy Wayne Baker, a convicted serial killer. Though Baker pleaded guilty to strangling seven women, he insists that he killed only five of them, and wants that assertion validated. When Jake meets Baker in prison, the murderer refuses to name the other killer, claiming that doing so would lead to accusations that Jake’s inquiries were biased. The investigator’s task is made even harder by Baker’s not even identifying which of the dead women were killed by someone else . (To his credit, Lyle makes this complicated scenario credible.) Along with his girlfriend, Jake travels to Pine Key, Fla., the scene of three of the strangulations, where the couple pretends to be researching a documentary examining the impact of the killings on the small community. The clever plot twists will surprise even genre veterans. This entry is the best in the series so far. 

 
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Posted by on July 1, 2019 in Writing

 

Criminal Mischief: Episode #22: Common Medical Errors in Fiction

Criminal Mischief: Episode #22: Common Medical Errors in Fiction

LISTEN: https://soundcloud.com/authorsontheair/criminal-mischief-episode-22-common-medical-errors-in-fiction

PAST SHOWS: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief.html

SHOW NOTES: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief-notes/22-comon-medical-errors-in.html

Too often, fiction writers commit medical malpractice in their stories. Unfortunately, these mistakes can sink an otherwise well-written story. The ones I repetitively see include:

Bang, Bang, You’re Dead: Not so fast. No one dies instantly. Well, almost no one. Instant death can occur with heart attacks, strokes, extremely abnormal heart rhythms, cyanide, and a few other “metabolic” poisons. But trauma, such as gunshot wounds (GSWs) and blows to the head, rarely cause sudden death. Yet, how often has a single shot felled a villain? Bang, dead. For that to occur, the bullet would have to severely damage the brain, the heart, or the cervical (neck) portion of the spinal cord. A shot to the chest or abdomen leads to a lot of screaming and moaning, but death comes from bleeding and that takes time. Sometimes, a long time.

Ask any emergency physician or nurse. GSW victims reach the ER with multiple holes in their bodies and survive all the time. This is particularly true if it’s Friday night (we called it the Friday Night Knife and Gun Club), during a full moon (yes, it’s true, a full moon changes everything), or if the victim is drunk. You can’t kill a drunk. That’s a medical fact. They survive everything from car wrecks to gunshots to falling off tall buildings. The family van they hit head-on will have no survivors, but the drunk will walk away with minor scratches, if that.

Sleeping Beauty: I call this the “Hollywood Death.” Calm, peaceful, and not a hair out of place. As if simply asleep. Blood? Almost never. Trauma? None in sight. The deceased is nicely dressed, stretched out on a wrinkle-free bed, make-up perfect, and with a slight flutter of the eyelids if you look closely. Real dead folks are not so attractive. I don’t care what they looked like during life, in death, they are pale, waxy, and gray. Their eyes do not flutter and they do not look relaxed and peaceful. They look dead. And feel cold. It’s amazing how quickly after death the body becomes cold to the touch. It has to do with the loss of blood flow to the skin after the heart stops. No warm blood, no warmth to the touch.

Sleeping Beauty also doesn’t bleed. You know this one. The hero detective arrives at a murder scene a half hour after the deed to see blood oozing from the corpse’s mouth or from the GSW to the chest. Tilt! Dead folks don’t bleed. You see, when you die, your heart stops and the blood no longer circulates. It clots. Stagnant or clotted blood does not move. It does not gush or ooze or gurgle or flow or trickle from the body. 

Trauma? What Trauma?: You’ve seen and read this a million times. The hero socks the bad guy’s henchmen in the jaw. He goes down and is apparently written out of the script since we never hear from him again. It’s always the henchmen, because the antagonist, like most people, requires a few solid blows to go down. Think about a boxing match. Two guys that are trained to inflict damage and even they have trouble knocking each other out. And when they do, the one on his back is up in a couple of minutes, claiming the other guy caught him with a lucky punch. Listen to me: Only James Bond can knock someone out with a single blow. And maybe Jack Reacher or Mike Tyson. A car-salesman-turned-amateur-sleuth cannot.

And what of back eyes? If a character gets whacked in the eye in Chapter 3, he will have a black eye for two weeks, which will likely take you through the end of the book. He will not be “normal” in two days. A black eye is a contusion (bruise) and results from blood leaking into the tissues from tiny blood vessels, which are injured by the blow. It takes the body about two weeks to clear all that out. It will darken over two days, fade over four or five, turn greenish, brownish, and a sickly yellow before it disappears. On a good note, by about day seven, a female character might be able to hide it with make-up.

Similarly, what of the character who falls down the stairs and injures his back? He will not be able to run from or chase the bad guy or make love to his new lover the next day. He will need a few days (or maybe weeks) to heal. And he will limp, whine, and complain in the interim. And if he breaks something, like an arm or leg, he’ll need several weeks to recover.

I Can Run, and Jump, and Fight Like an Olympian: The typical fictional PI (maybe real ones, too) drinks too much, smokes too much, and eats donuts on a regular basis. He is not training for the Olympics. He will not be able to chase the villain for ten blocks. Two on a good day. And hills or stairs will reduce that to a very short distance. Yet chase montages in movies and books often seem to cover marathon distances. And then a fight breaks out. 

Of course, some characters can do all this. Not the PI mentioned above but maybe Dustin Hoffman can. Remember “Babe” Levy (Dustin Hoffman) in Marathon Man? He had to run for his life as Dr. Christian Szell (Sir Laurence Olivier) and his Nazi bad guys chased him endlessly. But early in the film, we learn that he runs around the reservoir in Central Park every day. He constantly tries to increase his distance, improve his time. He could run for his life.

Hopefully, when you run across medical malpractice in your reading you’ll be forgiving and enjoy the story anyway. But maybe not.

 

Criminal Mischief: Episode #21: Autopsy Of A Thriller: The Terminator

Criminal Mischief: Episode #21: Autopsy OF A Thriller: The Terminator

LISTEN: https://soundcloud.com/authorsontheair/episode-21-autopsy-of-a-thriller

SHOW NOTES: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief-notes/21-autopsy-of-a-thriller.html

PAST SHOWS: http://www.dplylemd.com/criminal-mischief.html

 

The Autopsy of a Thriller

The Terminator (1984)

T = The Terminator

R = Kyle Reese

S = Sarah Conner

T appears in ball of light, takes clothes from punk after being stabbed and ripping out his heart. + – 0

R appears in ball of light, takes vagrants clothes, steals shotgun from police car, escapes from police, finds 3 Sarah Conners in phone book.

+-0

S works at Big Boy, ditsy and clumsy. + – 0

T steals guns from gun shop, kills owner + – 0

T finds 3 Sarah Conners in phone book. + – 0

T kills Sarah Conner #1. + – 0

S sees TV broadcast of Sarah Conner’s murder. + – 0

S date stands her up, she goes out alone. + – 0

Police learn of murder of 2nd Sarah Conner. + – 0

S heads out for night, R follows. + – 0

S in restaurant sees TV news of 2nd Sarah Conner murder, tries to call police, phone out of service   + – 0

S senses she’s being followed by R, ducks into disco, R follows, S calls police, can’t get through. + – 0

T goes to S’s apartment, kills roommate and boyfriend, hears call from Sarah who leaves message about where she is, sees photo ID of S. + – 0

S reaches police, they are coming to disco. + – 0

(Inciting Incident) 

T arrives, R and T have shoot-out. T shot multiple times but gets up. + – 0

S and R escape, T steals police car and chases + – 0

R explains that he is there to protect her and that she has been targeted for termination and that T is a cyborg that will not stop until S is dead. R tells Sarah that in the near future machines take over and start a nuclear war, then set out to destroy all humans. T must kill her to prevent her from having her son, John Conner, mankind’s savior from the machines that will rule the future world. + – 0

Chase resumes between R & S, T, and the police. S and R crash car, arrested by police, T escapes. + – 0

S learns that roommate was killed. + – 0

T repairs injured forearm and removes injured eye, revealing that he is indeed a cyborg.    + – 0

Psychiatrist explains to S that R is crazy and that T was likely on PCP and wearing a flak jacket. + – 0

(1st Turning Point) 

T attacks police station, killing many cops. + – 0

S and R steal car and escape. + – 0

T looks through Sarah’s address book, finds mother’s address. + – 0

S and R get room in motel out of city. Sarah calls her mother, tells her where they are, but she is talking to T.   + – 0

S and R make sticks of nitroglycerine and then make love. + – 0

T arrives, but S and R escape in stolen truck, T chases on motorcycle. + – 0

T avoids nitro sticks, S knocks T off bike, crashes truck, T is run over by 18-wheeler.     +   – 0

T gets up, takes over 18-wheeler, and chases S and R. + – 0

R slips nitro stick into truck, blowing it up in huge fireball, T burns in fire. + – 0

(2nd Turning Point) 

T rises from fire, now reduced to a metallic skeleton.  +-0

R and S hide in industrial building, T follows. + – 0

T corners S and R in building. + – 0

R places nitro stick in T’s ribs and blows him to pieces. + – 0

Upper half of T keeps coming, forcing S into corner. + – 0

(Climax) 

S leads T into crushing machine and crushes him. + – 0

(Denouement) 

R dies, pregnant Sarah leaves country to prepare for coming war. 

+-0

 
 
 
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