Category Archives: Stupid Criminals

Stupid Criminals: Man Attempts to Gnaw Off His Fingerprints

Damaged Print

If you have a record or an outstanding warrant or two, you might not want the police to ID you when you’re arrested for driving a stolen vehicle. I truly hate days like that. But, what to do? Maybe just gnaw off your fingerprints and they won’t be able to determine your ID. Probably painful, and probably won’t work. It looks like Kenzo Roberts gave it a whirl (no pun intended) anyway.

And he’s not alone. Many folks have tried to alter their fingerprints with cuts, burns, scrapes, and other painful procedures. Even Public Enemy #1 John Dillinger tried. Besides having plastic surgery to alter his face, he also attempted to burn away his fingerprints with acid. That didn’t work either.

John Dillinger

John Dillinger



John Dillinger was one of America’s most notorious criminals, once named Public Enemy No. 1. In an effort to evade the cops, he underwent facial plastic surgery and tried to remove his fingerprints with acid. After his betrayal by the famous “Lady in Red,” Dillinger was shot dead outside Chicago’s Biograph Theater. Prints taken at the morgue proved that the dead man was indeed Dillinger. The acid had damaged only a portion of his finger pads, leaving enough ridge detail for matching with his prints on file with the police.

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Pillow Talk: Post-Sex Confessions Can Sink Your Perfect Murder

Pillow talk can undo your perfect murder. Seems that folks like to confess, or at least tell secrets, after sex. Researchers blame it on Oxytocin—the “love hormone.” Funny, I don’t remember it being called that in med school. Regardless, it just might lower inhibitions and make folks gabby.


Pegye Bechler

Pegye Bechler


An example can be found in the famous 1997 Pegye Bechler murder here in Orange County, CA. Husband Eric apparently decided to kill his wife and make it look like a boating fatality. His story: he was on a bodyboard, Pegye towing him behind their boat, when a rogue wave knocked him off the board. When he surfaced, the boat was going in circles with no Pegye in sight. The wave had knocked her off the boat and she had drowned. Two problems: Pegye was an excellent swimmer and the water was dead calm that day.


Eric Bechler

Eric Bechler


Still, even though the police doubted Eric’s story, they had no witnesses, no body, and no real evidence. Eric walked. For a while anyway. He then got a new girlfriend, model and Baywatch actress, Tina New. Seems that one evening after a round of sex and a dose of Ecstasy, Eric confessed to Tina, saying he had killed Pegye with a dumbbell and dumped her body in Newport Bay. At first she dismissed his story but later decided to go to the police. A sting was arranged and she managed to record his confession. Eric was ultimately convicted and given a life sentence.


Stupid Criminals: Don’t Swallow Your Booty

Joseph Ramos appears to be a three-time loser. Reckless driving, in a stolen car, and, oh yeah, having a stomach full of stolen merchandise. As part of his booking process at the Pinellas, FL jail, he had to pass through a newly-installed, contraband-detection device—-a RAD PRO SecurPass Whole Body X-ray. Deputies noticed “a dark mass near the suspect’s stomach area.” Busted.


The necklaces can be seen resting in the stomach. The clear areas above them are gas in the stomach from his swallowing air along with the necklaces.

The necklaces can be seen resting in the stomach. The clear areas above them are gas in the stomach from his swallowing air along with the necklaces.


Stupid Criminals: Butt Dialing Murder




Scott Simon needs to control his cell phone. It simply won’t behave. I mean all he did was slip it in his pocket. That’s it. Well, and apparently discuss a premeditated murder in progress with his buddy. The problem? His phone did the old 911 butt dial thing. Oops.




Character Dichotomies Are Everywhere

We are often told that our characters must be multi-dimensional. And that’s true. A character that is all good or all bad is flat and unrealistic. Good guys should have darker edges and bad guys should have a glimmer of silver lining. Even Hannibal Lecter had his good points.



Evan Dorsey seems to fit this mold. A petty thief with an apparent heart of gold. Sure he was going to do a few B&E’s and grab a little coke to smooth out his day, but he also wanted to do a good deed. Since he stole diabetic medical supplies maybe he was going to help an elderly diabetic manage her blood sugars. But somehow I doubt it.


Taking a Bite Out of Crime


David Stoddard


David Stoddard and his buddies apparently thought that home invasion robberies were a slick and low risk way of making a living. After all, who would say no to three armed men?

Turns out the family’s pit bull did.


Pit Bull


As the thieves fled, the dog attacked and bit Stoddard on his leg and arm. Tragically, the dog was shot and killed. But the investigators realized that the dog had bitten one of the intruders and swabbed the deceased dog’s mouth for DNA.

Very clever.

The profile matched stellar citizen Stoddard who had been arrested for another crime–the shooting of two women, one a pregnant teenager who died. Didn’t I say he was a stellar citizen?

Of course Stoddard has pled not guilty and his defense, as voiced by his attorney John Sinn, seems to be: “My client indicates that he doesn’t have a recollection of those events.”

Really? I guess we would all forget shooting a 16-year-old mother to be and getting bitten by a pit bull. I mean, really, it could happen, don’t you think?


DNA: Chewed Up and Spit Out

Some stories just make you smile.


It seems that Gary Raub murdered a 70-year-old woman in 1976 and by now I’m sure thought he had gotten away with it. But the police never took him off the suspect list. To nab him they needed his DNA to compare against blood left at the crime scene by the perpetrator. The police came up with a very clever ploy.


A fake chewing gum survey.

It seems that old Gary was tricked into taking part in the survey and from the gum his DNA was obtained and the match made.

Lady Justice might be slow but she is relentless.


Posted by on December 17, 2012 in DNA, Police Procedure, Stupid Criminals


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